Shared Grief

By Kay Heitsch

Last week, I watched the hockey game between the Blue Jackets and the Red Wings.

During the game, Meredith Gaudreau, the wife of a Blue Jackets player, was interviewed. Sadly, her husband, Johnny Gaudreau, died in a car accident in 2024. What caught my attention was that the interviewers thanked Meredith for allowing them to share her grief.

I had never thought of allowing other people to share my grief. I well remember doing everything I could to control my emotions when Todd died. I cried alone in the bathtub or sobbed in the yard after a run. I wanted to be strong for my kids.

I was asked to speak at several churches and other organizations and did everything I could to keep it together. I started to cry one day and told the person who had asked me to talk I was sorry. He said, "Kay, when you cried, it gave other people permission to cry, too." The people listening were trying to hold it together for you.

So, I learned something from watching a hockey game I hadn't known in 30 years. Now, the time may be right for me to share a few more things I've learned about grief and its effects on your life.