Freaking Out!

By Kay Heitsch

I will always remember Super Bowl Sunday many years ago. This was the 1st time I had ever given my testimony in public. I was freaking out!

A friend I had known for years kept bugging me to come to her church and give my testimony. #1 I didn't go to church. #2 Her church was one I had heard odd things about. #3 I didn't want to talk about Todd's death. #4 I had no idea what I would even say. #5 I was terrified to speak in front of people. The list of excuses went on.

But the day came. I had not prepared anything to say. I figured I could get out of talking. But now, here I was in a panic. I began to pace the floor. I was sweating and shaking. As the time to leave came closer, my nose began to bleed. I was having a hard time getting it to stop. Then, a thought came to my mind as I had my head in the sink. "Kay, I didn't give you this Spirit of fear. I'm giving you power, love, and a sound mind." I didn't know this was a Bible verse at the time.

Then it hit me! Another thought came to me, "If the devil's working overtime, something good is going to happen! The Bible verse, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! Philippians 4:13 also came to my mind.

I did go! I had a new determination! Nothing was going to stop me now!

I have no idea what I said, but people came running up to the front after I spoke and hugged me. These "odd" people were precisely the kind of people I needed.

This was the beginning of giving me testimony in many different places, including other churches. The Lord knew I needed to talk about Todd's death and how He had brought so much good out of it. Talking somehow brought a healing balm to my broken heart.

God knew what I needed, and He did give me His strength. I am forever grateful I did step out, even though I was freaking out!