160 ~ I Have A Right

 By Kay Heitsch

I Have A Right!

For many years, I lived by my feelings. I lived a life of worry, high tension, and anger. I worried a lot! What if this or what if that?

Because of worrying all the time, I was under a lot of tension. When I sat down, my legs actually shook from being so tense. Plus, I had an undercurrent of anger. Did I have a right to be angry? You bet I did! I won't go into all the reasons I was furious, but I was!

I was also very negative. It was actually amusing when I think back. I had a neighbor who would call me every morning. Her first words were, "Well, what can we (blank) about today?"

We lived in a beautiful neighborhood, had terrific families, but our focus was on complaining and finding things we didn't like.

Somehow, I knew this was not the way to live. But I didn't like the way I saw religious people live either. I knew there must be a better way.

I wasn't much of a reader, but I decided to go to the library. I wasn't even sure what I was looking for. However, after browsing through the aisles, I found several books that seemed interesting. I took them home and started to read them.

Some of these books were really inspiring to me. They actually showed a different and better way to live. I wasn't too happy when I saw that this way of life was coming from the Bible. The people I knew who were religious didn't live this way! If there was one thing I knew I did not want to be like, it was them at all.

As I said, I knew my way of thinking and acting was not helping me. As I continued reading these books, which depicted people living a better life, I could see that this overcoming, joyful life was made possible by putting Bible principles into practice.

This was blowing my mind. I could hardly believe it! Why on this earth were people, I knew, who called themselves Christians, not living this way? I wanted to live this new life that these people in the books were living!

I started to type some of the tips from these books and put them into practice to see if they actually worked. Much to my surprise, they did! I was feeling more relaxed, happier, and less angry.

As I read these books, I noticed that the people who lived by these principles were often Christians. They not only trusted the Lord for their eternal life, but they also trusted Him to lead and guide them in their daily lives.

It seemed far-fetched to me at the time, but I could see it was working for them. As I began to put these principles into practice in my own life, they were working for me as well.

One thing I noticed while reading was something I did not like. I did not like the idea that to really live this overcoming life, right here on earth, I would need help. I wanted to do this on my own. I didn't want nor feel that I needed help!

When our 16-year-old son, Todd, died suddenly in a car accident, my whole life changed. I lived in a state of numbness for a while. It seemed I was watching a horror movie from afar.

I was going through the motions of living, but nothing seemed natural. I was offered prescription medication, but I declined as I didn't need to feel more numb than I did. I was trying hard to come to grips with this horrible reality, as my mind was screaming it was not valid.

Over time, I began to recall some of the things I had read in these books about living and overcoming life's challenges right here on earth, no matter what happens.

Could it be possible? Could I really live an overcoming life after the death of my son? I wasn't even sure I wanted to live, period! There were days I wished I had died right along with Todd. This pain was unbearable. Physical pain is one thing, but the pain a mother feels when her child has passed doesn't even come close to physical pain. What was I going to do?

I started to think, "I have a right to feel this way! I have a right to feel angry! I have a right to be sad! I have the right to dislike several people. I have a right... The thoughts came flooding into my mind.

As I sat stewing over my right, I had a soft and quiet thought sneak in. "Kay, you have a right to be happy! You have a right to live a positive life! You have a right to let go of things and people who have hurt you! I'm here to help you if you let me!" "Help?" Where did I hear that before?

Oh yeah, in the books I'd been reading. If I really wanted to overcome life, I would need help. I desired this life and desperately needed it to go on.

I'm so thankful today that I have allowed the Lord to help me. He has shown me Bible verses that have entirely changed my way of thinking. He has brought teachers into my life who teach people how to have eternal life and how to live an extraordinary life right here on earth.

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2

159 ~ Finish My Course With Joy

By Kay Heitsch

I heard a message about writing down your goals and how you want to live your life. Make it clear and read it every day.

It isn't always easy to deal with life's challenges with a good attitude. Boy, do I know that!

However, I want to finish my course with joy! Acts 20:25

If I want to finish my course with joy, these things will help me do that.

1. I need to preset my mind for victory. I like the Bible text "Set your mind and keep it set." Colossians 3:2 Also, I can do all things through Christ, who gives me the strength. Philippians 4:13

2. I realize there will be pains! Oh no! Yep, the pain of discipline or regret. I can feel the pain of disciplining myself or regret that I didn't. Exercise, food, and attitude are a few on my list.

3. I may need to zip my lip. "Drop it, leave it, let it go" Mark 11:25 AMP I like, "What you don't feed...dies." Stop thinking and talking about things that're not helping me to "Finish my course with joy."

4. Being able to be happy when things don't go my way. Now that's freedom!

5. This is really #1. Put God first and depend on Him to help me so that I can "Finish my course with joy!"

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2

158 ~ What Else Can Go Wrong?

By Kay Heitsch

Last weekend, our daughter, Shannon, and son-in-law, Joe, renewed their wedding vows. After the service, they had invited the family and friends back to their home for food and fellowship.

I was excited that Joe's family would be there. I shared with Joe's mom that I was going to make the Carrot Cake and Grandma Z. cookies. She was going to make her pecan pie.

I have made the GZ cookies many times. However, for some reason, they did not turn out as expected. I could hardly make them into balls. I was pretty happy with myself for not getting overly upset.

Then, I began making the Carrot Cake. Everything was going fine. I put the cake in the oven and looked over to the table. I had forgotten to add the nuts and dates. I started chopping the nuts like a crazy woman and jerked the cake out of the oven. I sprinkled the nuts and dates on top and tried to stir them in.

I had been cleaning, getting things ready, and filling the kids' bags with goodies, so by this time, I was pretty tired. I burst into tears and started saying, What else can go wrong today?

Now, I wasn't too pleased with my behavior. But life went on.

I am happy to report that everyone enjoyed the cookies, and the cake turned out to be delicious.

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2

157 ~ When Your Child Dies

By Kay Heitsch

When your child dies, you miss many things about them.

One thing is the smell of the child. I remember holding Todd's letterman jacket to catch a scent of him. I'm sure other parents whose child has died may have done the same thing.

Another thing is hearing the child's voice. Brandon was only 2 1/2 when Todd died. As Brandon got older, his voice began to change.

One day, Brandon was upstairs when he called down to me. It was the strangest thing, but when Brandon called me, he sounded exactly like Todd.

As Todd's birthday approaches, it's interesting to see what things come to mind, even after many years.

These two memories are special to me and bring tears to my eyes and a smile as I remember.

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2

156 ~ The Dance

 By Kay Heitsch

A few years ago, a friend of Todd's shared something that touched my heart and made me proud of Todd.

The school was having a dance. Like many kids, this girl went to the dance with a few of her girlfriends. She expressed how the other girls were being asked to dance, so she was standing all alone.

She told how when Todd noticed her standing alone, he came over and asked her to dance. She said he was the first boy she ever danced with.

I'm sure Todd never thought he was doing anything special, but this act of kindness was very special to her.

Let's face it, we can all do something kind. Who knows how our kindness may affect another person, and they will remember it many years later.

Now, when she shared Todd's act of kindness, I was blessed, and it made me feel very proud of Todd. A ripple effect.

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2

155 ~ Old Country Church

By Kay Heitsch

Many years ago, I received a phone call asking me to come and share my testimony. This was before GPS, and I had no idea where this church was located, but I didn't want to turn down the invitation.

I wrote down the directions I was given on the phone, but I found myself lost a few times. However, whenever I stopped, someone was always there to guide me.

I was starting to feel uneasy as I turned down one dirt road after another. I was out in the middle of nowhere. Finally, I could see a little white-framed church sitting on a hill. I felt relieved as I pulled into the gravel parking lot. I whispered a little prayer of thanks and walked to a door that I noticed was open.

The ladies were preparing a potluck in the basement before the service. I could smell the delicious homemade food as I walked in. I noticed the men were taking off their farm boots and leaving them at the door as they came in to eat. I had to smile as this was something I had not seen before.

Everyone was friendly. Two little girls in cotton dresses approached me and asked, "Are you the speaker?" I smiled and told them I was. It was cute to see how excited they were.

This was an experience I will never forget. The love I felt from these people was amazing. The following Bible verse came to my mind. "By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another." John 13:35

I've worshiped and shared my testimony in churches of all sizes and denominations, as well as with various types of music. One thing I know is that it's not the denomination, size of the building, or the music. It's the love of the people who worship there that brings a smile to God's face.

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2

154 ~ Bullying

By Kay Heitsch

One day, our son, Todd, came home from high school and shared with me about a boy being bullied at school. This kid was not a friend, but that didn't seem to matter to Todd. He didn't like it that this kid was being bullied.

As we stood in the kitchen, Todd told me that he had confronted the guys who were bullying this boy. Then he went on to say he was planning to meet them after school, off school grounds. Wow! I wasn't expecting to hear that!

To make a long story short, Todd went to the designated location to meet these bullies. He asked a few friends to come along. I'm not sure if these boys would confront the guys or if they were showing moral support. Anyway, it didn't matter! Wouldn't you know the bullies never showed up!

Todd died in a car accident not too long after the incident. He made a statement by his actions that day. It didn't matter if the person being bullied was a friend or not. Todd confronted the situation!

When we had Todd's calling hours, hundreds showed up. I'm not sure, but I bet the bullies were there too. I can tell you that when Todd passed away, he was not only loved but also respected.

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2