41 - From The Heart

By Kay Heitsch

It didn't take very long before Bill was singing a lot with this church group. One week, Carol asked Bill if he would like to sing a solo. Bill agreed that he would. To prepare, Bill stopped by the church to practice alone before he sang.

The morning of his first solo, I noticed Bill put a stool up front. Before he sang, he joked that he was going to be like Perry Como and sit while he sang. Then he said something else. He added, "I didn't understand what Kay meant when she said she surrendered her life to the LORD. But I do now.

This was the beginning of a new way of living.

A short while later, Franklin Graham came to an area near us. The newspaper had an advertisement asking for people to join the choir. Bill decided to go and join.

After Franklin Graham's message, he gave an altar call. Much to many people's surprise, Bill jumped over the rail and went up front. I can imagine what went through people's minds when they saw one of the choir members as we went forward. You know, God smiled!

Everyone enjoyed listening to Bill and this group sing. Churches were asking them to come and sing. So, they decided they needed a name. They came up with the name, "From The Heart."

One of their singing highlights was performing in Michigan and putting on a program at Grandma Z's church. Let me tell you, GZ was overjoyed.

40 - Not What I Expected

By Kay Heitsch

God sure wasn't surprised, even though Betty and I were.

After Bill sang with this group a few times, they suggested he take a few performance tapes home.

I found out the group was getting ready for an Easter program. It was looking like they wanted Bill to sing with them.

Carol and Joe put a few performance tapes together in a case. Phil, Susan's husband, showed Bill how to operate the music sound system.

I could not believe it when the group handed Bill the keys to the church and suggested he come over and practice alone.

Now I noticed that on some days, instead of stopping and bringing home beer, Bill would actually go over to this little church and practice singing.

Much to my surprise, Bill did sing with the group for Easter.

A few days later, we all went out to eat and talked about the Easter program. Bill confessed he had been hung over at the program from drinking the night before.

Interestingly, no one gasped or showed judgment in any way. This was not what I expected. It was apparent these people accepted Bill where he was.

Again, I was surprised, but God was not.

39 - Potluck and Music

By Kay Heitsch

I wasn't sure how long it would take God to come up with something to replace Bill's drinking. But even if it wasn't happening immediately, I didn't make any suggestions.

I had been seriously studying the Bible, so I decided to find the denomination my mom attended and see, from my understanding now, what they believed.

The first week, I spoke with a sweet older lady named Betty and explained to her why I was there. I also let her know I would not be staying too long.

Once a month, this small church group had a potluck. My homemade desserts were a huge hit. Bill was usually working, but I invited him to stop by on his lunch break. But he wasn't interested.

Betty and I became close friends. I shared with her my prayer for Bill.

One week, much to my surprise, Bill walked into church. The kids and I were sitting in a pew behind Betty. When Betty's daughter began playing the piano to a hymn, Bill started to sing.

When the service was over, Betty turned around and touched Bill's hand, saying, "You have a great voice." Bill pulled his hand back and abruptly got up, leaving the building. Betty was devastated! She was sure she had scared Bill away.

I never asked Bill why he left so quickly. But Betty and I continued to pray.

At the next potluck, I again invited Bill to come over. Much to Betty's and my surprise, Bill came walking in the back door.

After the potluck, Carol, Betty's daughter, came up to Bill and told him her mom told her he had a great voice.

Carol invited Bill to stay after the potluck and sing with her and a couple of others, with some performance tapes.

Betty and I were surprised that Bill agreed to stay and sing with these strangers.

But God was not surprised.

38 - Bringing In The Heavy Artillery

By Kay Heitsch

After I received the phone call that Todd had been in an accident, I called Bill at work. One of the office ladies had lived on County Road 81, so she rode with Bill to the accident site, as he had no idea where it was.

After Bill arrived at the site, he had to identify Todd's body. The jaws of life had to cut Todd out of the car, and all Bill saw were Todd's legs and feet. He knew it was our car and Todd.

Dealing with this site and Todd's death wasn't something any parent would ever want to deal with. Bill continues to work every day, but after work, he would come home with a pack of beer.

I was getting concerned, but didn't say anything. My dad drank a lot, so I was used to being around people drinking. I had an issue myself with drinking years before, so I knew I didn't want to go down this road.

I decided to bring in the "heavy artillery," I liked to call prayer. Every day, when I knew Bill was on his way home, I went into the bedroom and got on my knees and prayed.

I was a new Christian, so I didn't try to tell God what I thought He should do. In fact, I didn't know what to even ask for. So my prayer was short and to the point. Every day, I would pray that God would replace Bill's drinking with something.

Then I waited to see what God would do.

37 - Only Overnight

  By Kay Heitsch

Some foster children come in only for an overnight stay. When Brock came in, that's what we were told. However, he was with us for quite some time.

Brock was a cute, very smart 6-year-old. However, his behavior in school caused him to need a tutor in the summer.

Brock and Brandon became fast friends. So Brock insisted that Brandon sit at the table in the kitchen, taking part in all of his lessons. Brandon was all for it.

Instead of this being a challenging time, it was fun and educational for both Brock and Brandon.

We had other foster children who were given special exercises to help with their behavior. One exercise was jumping rope.

I never knew all the benefits jumping rope would do. Not everyone, but several of us jumped rope too, along with the guys. Maybe I should give that a go again.

Being a foster parent can be very challenging and heartbreaking at times. But I truly believe it was something God used to bring something good out of Todd's death.

Never forget, though, that God may have you do something for a time, but when it's over, it's over, and then it's time to move on.

36 - Questions and Opinions When Todd Died

By Kay Heitsch

Questions and Opinions When Todd Died.

When your child dies, people have opinions and questions. Here are a few that have stuck with me.

One of the first opinions someone had was that they did not think I was handling Todd's death. My response was, "You're right. I couldn't, so I turned Todd and myself over to God. He's handling it."

I've found that each death is different and personal. We all handle death and grieving in our own way. But people have opinions.

When I became a Booster, I was asked if I was trying to replace Todd with another child. My answer was, "No!" Other children can never replace the child who died.

We had booster and foster children who were from other racial backgrounds. I was asked if I was worried someone would think they were my children. It seemed like an odd question because I never gave that a thought.

In fact, having children from other races and backgrounds was a good experience for all of us. We accepted them as family.

Later in life, Brandon had people from other races wonder and ask why they felt so comfortable with him. Really, that was true for all of us.

In school, Brandon was asked to draw a picture of his family. At a conference, his teacher was confused by Brandon's picture. She said, "I thought Brandon only had one sister." I had to smile when I saw the picture. Brandon included all of his foster brothers and sisters.

Two more...Was your son driving drunk? No! Odd question for the man at the monument store to ask, I thought.

Was your son saved? I'll write about that later on.

People do have their opinions and questions when your child dies. These were a few that have stuck in my mind.

I don't know if I did and said everything right on my grief journey. Let's just say that I did the best I could at the time, with God's help.

35 - I Thought I Had My Limits

By Kay Heitsch

When I walked into the courthouse for a hearing regarding the Booster children, I was met by a lawyer I knew through the Booster program. He asked why I was there. He stated that the case had been canceled and suggested I come up to his office.

We talked and decided it would be the best plan for Bill and me to become foster parents to Ricky and Danyelle. We both enrolled in the program.

I told the LORD I was OK with having Ricky and Danyelle. Plus, He knew I wouldn't be OK with teenagers or babies. That would be too much for me. I had my limits!

The day we legally became foster parents, Ricky and Danyelle moved in. However, not only did they move in, but both of their teenage sisters also moved in with them. A couple of weeks after they were there, the oldest sister gave birth to a baby. I was with her in the hospital at her delivery.

Today, I have to smile! God knew I could not handle having seven children and doing eight loads of laundry a day, and so on. But God could. God knew He was going to work through me, and I was going to be just fine.

We were foster parents and boosters, welcoming 11 children into our home. I will not say that this is for everyone. It can be very challenging, but if it's God's plan for you, He will see you through.

Todd, well, I think he was surprised, but he is happy God was bringing good out of his death. 

34 - Where Were They?

By Kay Heitsch

I didn't know what we were supposed to do as a booster. Ricky came over to our home a lot. He was a smart guy and very athletic. He wanted to join football, so I enrolled him in that.

When his sister, Danyelle, turned 7, she was old enough to be in the program, so I became her booster as well.

We had both Ricky and Danyelle for several years. They spent a lot of weekends with us, and we even took them with us on vacation. They became part of our family.

One day, the school called and asked if I knew where Ricky and Danyelle were because they hadn't been in school all week. I had no idea because we would have them on the weekend.

I immediately drove out to their trailer, and there was no one around. This was very upsetting. No one knew where Ricky, Danyelle, and their mother were. It seemed that they had vanished.

I prayed often to hear from them, but it was crickets. Around 6 months later, I received a collect call from their mom. She apologized for not sending me the letters the kids had written and asked if we could take care of them again.

My prayer was answered, but what does this now mean?

33 - Then I Remembered The Bird

By Kay Heitsch

After seeing how God handled Brandon's stuttering by burying the bird, I shouldn't have been surprised when Bill suggested something totally out of character for him.

Bill had been reading the newspaper and told me that an organization in the next town was looking for positive people to serve as Boosters for area kids. Then he suggested I call them up.

I couldn't believe it! Todd had recently died. Why would I want to be a Booster to some kid I didn't even know? I threw the paper in the trash.

Then I remembered the bird. I thought maybe this is something God wants me to do. So I dug the paper out of the trash and called the phone number.

After meeting with Barbara, the lady in charge, and going to a few meetings, I was assigned a boy named Ricky. Little did I know how this would change our lives for years to come.

When I was asked what time I would like to start picking Ricky up, I found myself saying, Around 2:00 on Saturday. Later, I realized that it was around 2:00 on Saturday that I believed Todd had died.

Once again, God was replacing a negative time in my life with a positive one.

32 - Help Me Help Brandon

By Kay Heitsch

Grief has many facets. There's the emotional side, but there can also be a physical side, too.

As time went on, Brandon was still looking for Todd. It was heartbreaking. I didn't know what to do, especially when he began to stutter. I started to pray, "Lord, help me, help Brandon."

Our daily routines were about the same. Every day we would go for a walk. When Todd was alive, he would push Brandon's stroller up and down the hills, and I would push it on the straightaway. Now Brandon and I walked alone. I asked Shannon if she wanted to walk, but most of the time she didn't.

On our walk one day, Brandon noticed a dead bird on the side of the road. Much to my astonishment, he stuttered, "That bird is dead like Todd." I didn't know what to say.

As I still prayed, Help me, help Brandon I began to think, "Bury the bird." This seemed ridiculous, and I didn't want to do it.

We went to Michigan to order Todd's headstone. Bill's stepmother noticed that Brandon was stuttering and thought he needed professional help. I couldn't believe I said it, but I told her that God was going to heal Brandon. I'm sure she thought I had lost my mind.

I couldn't get the thought of burying the bird out of my mind. So, even though I thought it was weird, I got a pail and shovel out of the garage and picked up the bird and buried it in the backyard. I talked to Brandon about Todd and the bird being dead. I told him one day Jesus would come back and we would see Todd again.

The next morning, when Brandon woke up, he was not stuttering. I called Bill's stepmother and told her God had healed Brandon!

Years later, Dr. Peale wrote me and said he worked with a Psychiatrist who specialized in stuttering. He wrote in his letter that Brandon needed to get to the root of his issue. Somehow, burying the bird was the root. God knew!

This was a miracle! Even though burying the bird seemed ridiculous, it was the answer to my prayer.

31 - Bertha

By Kay Heitsch

Bertha was a sweet resident at the nursing home I visited. Every Thursday evening at 7:00, I would start out in her room. I kept my jacket and purse there, and after I delivered the candy, we would chat for a while.

Bertha shared several things about her life with me. One thing she was particularly proud of was her granddaughter, who worked as a Christian counselor.

This Thursday evening seemed like any other. But it certainly wasn't.

When I arrived in Bertha's room, she didn't look right. She had a glass of water on her tray and asked for a drink. I put the straw up to her lips. She took a small sip and started to throw up.

I ran out to the nurses' station to let them know. In a calm voice, the nurse said, "Bertha has been waiting for you. She is about to die." Let me tell you, I was not expecting this! I had never been with anyone who was dying.

I didn't know what to do, but I went back into Bertha's room and held her hand until she passed on a few minutes later.

When the nurse came back in, she said, "Everyone else is waiting for you, too." I don't know how I did it, but I went to each room as usual and distributed the candy as I had done before.

Years later, I had moved out of state, but I found out who Bertha's granddaughter was. We exchanged emails. It was interesting to find out that she had wondered if anyone was with her grandma when she died.

Once again, God was bringing good out of Todd's death. God blessed Bertha's granddaughter, and He had blessed me, so that I could tell her I was.

30 - Nursing Home Candy Basket

By Kay Heitsch

After getting acquainted with the staff at the group home, I learned that the tutor had a clown ministry, where she would visit a nursing home and pass out candy. Occasionally, she would take some of the girls from the group home with her.

When I learned she was going to need to stop going to the nursing home, I decided, for some unknown reason, I would pick up where she left off. However, I did not wear the clown outfit.

I drove over to the grocery store and bought several different candies, including sugar-free ones, from one of those Brocks displays. I found a basket at home and put the candy inside.

On a Thursday night, Brandon and I drove over to the nursing home with the candy basket. On occasion, I would take some of the girls from the group home with us. We would walk around to each room and let the residents choose the candy they liked. Most of the residents were happy to see us, even if they didn't want any candy.

I noticed when the group home girls came along, they loved these residents, and the residents loved them too. There was no judgment between any of them.

I continued to go to this nursing home on Thursday night for several years. I have written many stories about my experiences there.

I look back now and can see that God was helping me adjust to Todd's death by helping others. Even if it was only a small gesture, like offering a piece of candy or giving a small hug.