154 ~ Bullying

By Kay Heitsch

One day, our son, Todd, came home from high school and shared with me about a boy being bullied at school. This kid was not a friend, but that didn't seem to matter to Todd. He didn't like it that this kid was being bullied.

As we stood in the kitchen, Todd told me that he had confronted the guys who were bullying this boy. Then he went on to say he was planning to meet them after school, off school grounds. Wow! I wasn't expecting to hear that!

To make a long story short, Todd went to the designated location to meet these bullies. He asked a few friends to come along. I'm not sure if these boys would confront the guys or if they were showing moral support. Anyway, it didn't matter! Wouldn't you know the bullies never showed up!

Todd died in a car accident not too long after the incident. He made a statement by his actions that day. It didn't matter if the person being bullied was a friend or not. Todd confronted the situation!

When we had Todd's calling hours, hundreds showed up. I'm not sure, but I bet the bullies were there too. I can tell you that when Todd passed away, he was not only loved but also respected.

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2

153 ~ The Gun Shot

By Kay Heitsch

Grandma and Grandpa Z lived in a small home in a quiet neighborhood. When Grandpa Z was alive, he had a big garden behind their home and also one across the street.

Grandpa loved flowers, so there were flower beds around the house. They also had pear trees in the backyard. I can tell you these were the best pears I have ever eaten.

As Grandma Z aged and Grandpa had died, only the pear trees were left. But Grandma continued living in this home.

One day, while Grandma Z was in bed, she heard a loud noise above her head. She had no idea what it was.

Since she was on her walker and now partially blind, she called her neighbor, a retired sheriff, to come over and see what was going on.

Lo and behold, there was a bullet hole in her bedroom wall above the bed, and it went straight through to her bathroom wall above the toilet. If Grandma had been sitting up in bed or sitting on the toilet, she would have been shot!

This was pretty scary! To my knowledge, I don't know if they ever found out who shot the gun. They figured someone must have been target practicing. Pretty obvious, they weren't a good shot!

However, even after this scary experience, Grandma Z continued living in that house for several years until she went to the nursing home.

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2

152 ~ That Word

By Kay Heitsch

Right after I gave birth to Shannon, I joined a fitness club. After we moved, I never joined another fitness club until after Todd died.

We were up checking on Todd's grave and stopped over to visit Grandma Z. in the nursing home. As always, Grandma always said something you couldn't ignore.

This visit, Grandma Z. asked me to come close to her so she could feel my legs. It seemed weird, but I scooted over close. After giving my legs a couple of squeezes, she sat back in her wheelchair and, in her matter-of-fact way, said, "Kay, you're getting flabby!"

If that wasn't bad enough, now she wanted to know how much I weighed. I started joking with her, and then she said, "I weigh 111 —where do you come in around that number?" I weighed 103 at the time, but I wouldn't tell her.

When we got home, I needed to go to the dentist and had a crown. On my way home, I saw a sign in a town close to ours. It said, Valley Tan and Fitness. Even though I was still numb from the dental work, I stopped in and joined. I loved going there and met some fantastic people who are still friends today.

The following summer, we were back at the nursing home visiting Grandma Z. After giving her a hug, I announced, "Hey Grandma, I joined a fitness club! Don't you want to feel my legs?"

With a tone only Grandma would use, she gasped, "Heaven's no, why would I?" I laughed and continued, "Well, last time we were here, you wanted to feel my legs, and you actually said, 'Kay, you're getting flabby!" after feeling them.

I'll never forget Grandma's response. In a tone of disbelief, she scoffed, "Flabby, flabby?? That word is not even in my vocabulary!"

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2

151 ~ Give Your Feelings A Kick In The Can

By Kay Heitsch

A few years ago, I had to give my feelings a kick in the can! I'll explain.

I had received an upsetting phone call. I'll admit I was really ticked off to hear what someone said to someone I love. Bill was driving at the time and had sent me a text while I was on the phone. So before I thought, I told him what had been said, and now Bill was angry too.

Before I knew it, I thought of calling a few other people to let them know what was going on.

Thank God it was late, because I had enough sense not to call and upset several different people.

I had heard a good message called "Give your feelings a kick in the can!" about not letting your feelings control you. I knew I needed to put this into practice now. I asked the Lord to please help me!

As I got into bed, I thought of the text, "Don't let the sun go down on your anger." Ephesians 4:26 I knew I had to put this situation in the Lord's hands by faith and let it go.

Giving my feelings a 'kick in the can' wasn't easy, but I slept very well that night, and I planned to enjoy the next day without anger.

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2

150 ~ God's Surprise

By Kay Heitsch

As November gets closer, I can't help but think about Todd's birthday.

Today, I was thinking about all the times God has provided what I needed. Some things have been financial, some others helpful, and some things have happened to show His love.

Todd's birthday is not just any other day. So when I walked down to the mailbox years ago, I was in for a God surprise. In the box was a personal letter from Dr. Peale's office. I couldn't wait to open it!

As I began reading, I was overwhelmed! Dr. Peale wanted to put the letter I had written him as the introduction to his new hardback book, Have A Great Day-Every Day! This was the same paperback book Todd read, and I gave away to friends and family in his memory.

After all these years, I still hold this precious memory close to my heart. What are the odds of this request letter arriving on Todd's birthday?

Who can ever doubt God's personal love for each one of us?

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2

149 ~ The Empty Chair

By Kay Heitsch

After Grandpa Z. died, Grandma Z. lived alone. She did well until she broke her hip. After the surgery, she used a walker, and finally, she was in a wheelchair. Grandma Z. was also almost blind.

One day, while we were visiting Michigan, we stopped over to GZ's house. We knew she lived alone, but we could hear her giving someone the dickens. We wondered who she was yelling at.

After we got inside, we could see that no one was there except Grandma Z. So I said, "Grandma, who were you yelling at?"

Grandma answered, "See that chair over there," as she pointed her crooked finger and continued. "When I'm irritated with someone, I sit them in that chair and tell them exactly what I think. After I do, I feel better and can let it go."

I'm sure I asked her if I had been in this chair, but she ignored my question and changed the subject as she always did. However, I'm thinking Bill was in that chair a few times. I bet I was, too.

Anyway, this may be a good way to handle it when someone gets on our nerves. Sit them in an empty chair and tell them what we think, then let it go. It may save many relationships.

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2

148 ~ Game Ball

By Kay Heitsch

I suppose every high school has a big rivalry game that's played each year. I didn't attend a school that played competitive sports, so it was unfamiliar to me.

However, the year Todd would have been a senior, the high school where Todd attended dedicated their rivalry game to Todd. I was so touched that they would do this in memory of Todd.

This was an exciting game. I wasn't sure which team would win, but at the very end of the game, Todd's high school won.

A few days after the game, a group of the football guys brought over the game ball and gave it to me. I sure wasn't expecting this!

I have kept this game ball on display in our office all these years. I think of the kindness and love that these young guys showed to our family when I look at this ball.

Once again, God showed His love by bringing another triumph out of the tragedy of Todd's untimely death.

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2

147 ~ Mr. Smokes

By Kay Heitsch

Today, I started thinking about Bill's Grandma Z, who lived to be 101. I believe I did because of meeting the little lady, who was 104 and celebrating her birthday at a restaurant yesterday.

For Grandma's birthday, we all went out to eat at Bill Knapp's when GZ turned 100 because they offered a percentage-off discount based on your age. Grandma was waiting to receive 100% off.

After Grandma Z moved to the nursing home, she would mention a Mr. Smokes. No one had ever seen Mr. Smokes, so I wasn't sure he even existed.

However, after eating at Bill Knapp's, I went back to the nursing home with Grandma. I was sitting on her bed in her room with my camera.

Lo and behold, Mr. Smokes rolled into her room in his wheelchair with a gift. He didn't notice me and gave Grandma Z a big kiss after handing her the gift. Yes, I did get a picture!

There ya go, Grandma Z had a boyfriend at 100! I loved how she made the best of her remaining time on earth.

Grandma lived to be 101. Bill and I were with her when she died.

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2

146 ~ What You Don't Feed Dies

By Kay Heitsch

Over the years, I've had to think, "What you don't feed dies!" more than a few times regarding some thoughts and behaviors I wanted to get rid of.

Years ago, I could get myself in an absolute panic over something just by the wrong thoughts I would think about it.

For instance, I gave Todd an allergy shot. At first, when I started giving them to him, I would panic. I would start to sweat, shake, and breathe heavily. I'd beg Todd to let his dad give him the shot, but oh no, he insisted I could do it.

Each day, long before I had to give the injection, I'd think, "Oh, I can't do this. What if he has some reaction? What if....?" I'd have myself all worked up just by wrong thinking! It was sad, but I didn't know any better.

When I started studying the Bible, I realized I was meant to have the abundant life that Jesus died to give me. John 10:10. I wanted to live this life!

But there were a lot of things I had to work out with the Lord. This wrong thinking was a big one.

Slowly, I began to understand how my thinking was negatively affecting my life. I needed to stop feeding these negative thoughts. I knew that if I didn't stop feeding these emotions with negative thoughts, it would not be good.

I also learned that replacing wrong thoughts with something positive is an added bonus.

When I have to do something that I feel uncomfortable about, I have a few Bible verses I use. One is, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me the strength." Philippians 4:13. Another one is, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7.

It's incredible how my life has changed just by taking charge of my thinking.

"What you don't feed dies." I hope one day I won't need to keep reminding myself of this, but until that day comes, I keep pressing on.

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2

145 ~ Common Things

 By Kay Heitsch

Last week I went to the eye doctor. After this visit, I began to realize how I should appreciate the gift of sight more than I have.

Now with the leaves changing, I want to pay more attention and enjoy the beauty more.

Right before Todd died, he asked me something I will never forget. He asked, "Mom, have you ever noticed the beauty of the bark on trees? Every tree's bark has a different kind of texture."

I remember I gave him a quizzical look and answered, "No, I have never noticed."

I realize now how much I have taken for granted.

I came across this quote. "The art of being happy lies in the power of extracting happiness from common things."

People asked me why Todd was so happy. I knew part of his happiness came from his thoughts, but when I read this quote, I realized it was also how he looked at everyday things.

As I think about Todd, I hope to remember to notice the beauty in everyday things. I hope you will, too.

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2

144 ~ It's All A Balancing Act

By Kay Heitsch

I put the sprinkling can in the car. I headed over to Lapeer to help my in-laws, and I thought I'd go up to the cemetery to water Todd's flowers when I finished.

As I was ready to leave, my mother-in-law said, "I don't know why you're going to go and water the flowers when it's supposed to rain tonight." I knew she was right, but I headed for the cemetery anyway.

As I drove into the cemetery, it was tranquil. As usual, no one was around. I got out of the car and started to walk towards Todd's grave. When I got there, I knelt and started pulling some weeds.

A few minutes went by when I looked up and noticed a couple walking around from stone to stone. They appeared to be in their 20's. The young man had long, straight hair that hung out under a knitted stocking cap. The girl who was with him had long, curly hair. She was dressed in all black.

At first glance, I should have been uncomfortable being alone with them in the cemetery, but somehow, I wasn't. I watched as this couple knelt in front of several headstones.

Before I knew it, this couple was standing by Todd's grave. I stood up, and we started to talk. They said they were reading the words on these old headstones trying to find the oldest one. I told them that Todd and I had done the same thing before he died. I started to fight back the tears, remembering the special times we had.

We began to make small talk. During our conversation, I found out that Ayden was visiting from Australia. Ayden was a soft-spoken young man. Sara, his friend, was kind with a sweet smile.

I started to tell them about Todd and how the Lord had turned his death into something positive. I choked up a few times, sharing with them several unique things that had happened.

As tears filled my eyes, Ayden said, "I know the pain that death can cause. I'm a twin, and when I was eight years old, my father shook my brother to death. He is serving a life sentence in prison in Australia." I was stunned! I immediately walked over and hugged Ayden. He held on to me for a long time. I knew it was a hug we both needed.

Now our conversation took a new turn. We started to talk about life. We spoke about "things" and how "stuff" really was unnecessary when it's all said and done. Life was about relationships and LOVE.

Ayden made the statement that the "Kingdom is within us." I agreed. I told him I had learned that years before from reading the Bible. The Bible states over and over that, "The Kingdom of God is within you."

Ayden said he felt life was a "Balancing Act." I told him I believed that also because we overcome evil with good.

I shared how on Feb 6th, the day Todd died, I try to do something positive. Ayden said on his birthday, which would also be his twin's birthday, he goes to serve a meal at a homeless mission. "It's all a balancing act," he'd say to overcome evil with good.

It was getting late, and I felt a few sprinkles of rain when we were about to part company. Ayden and Sara said they would stop by Todd's grave whenever they were at the cemetery.

I smiled and told them Todd would think that was cool. We hugged good-bye.

I knew right then that I hadn't come there to water the flowers after all but to have a Divine connection.

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2