175 ~ Recurring Nightmare

By Kay Heitsch

I was raised as an only child. My parent had me later in life. My Mom was 38, and my dad was 40 when I was born. For most of my life, some people thought my parents were my grandparents.

Maybe because of this, I don't know, but my Mom had a recurring nightmare that I was kidnapped. She would wake up very upset.

Mom had always taught me to be friendly with people, but because of these nightmares, I was also pretty aware of what was going on around me.

We lived about 2 or 3 blocks from downtown. The highway US 131 ran through the town. Almost daily, we walked to town. Sometimes I would go alone to pick up bread or something we needed, but my Mom and I often walked together.

It was fun to see people that we knew in town. My aunt worked at the insurance company, so we usually stopped in to say, "HI." On the office counter was an iron that had melted from being left on too long. I'll never forget that! It was there to remind people to unplug the iron.

One day, when I was around 10, my Mom asked me to go to town and buy something. I was on my way home when a car, with a man at the wheel and a woman in the passenger seat, stopped. The woman rolled down her window and asked me to come over to the car because they wanted to ask me something.

I felt fear run through my body! I don't know if it was from my Mom's recurring nightmare or what. I turned around and ran back towards town and went into the closest store. I told them what had happened. The shop owner ran out, but the car was gone.

This happened to me twice as a child. As most of you can tell, I'm very friendly and I was as a child too. I genuinely believe the Lord helped me know that these people were up to no good. Maybe my Mom's recurring nightmares enabled me to be aware, too.

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2

174 ~ She Can't Be Real

By Kay Heitsch

When the holidays roll around, special people who are no longer with us come to mind.

This year, I can't help but think of Aunt Carmeleta. I spend a lot of Thanksgivings with her and Uncle Fred.

I remember the first time Bill met Aunt Carmeleta. He said, "She can't be real!" But she was real. Bill had never met anyone so kind, loving, and full of mercy as Aunt Carmeleta.

I was blessed to have Aunt Carmeleta in my life. She always accepted me for who I was and would say, "Keep being yourself." I'm sure she saw many areas I could improve, but she let me be me.

I will miss Aunt Carmeleta this year, but she will always be close to my heart.

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2

173 ~ Survivor

By Kay Heitsch

Last night we were watching Survivor. One of the players had not won any challenges, so he hadn't eaten any real food for 16 days.

However, I assume he was eating coconuts and other things he could find. I don't think they let people starve on the show.

After the day's competition, he lost again. However, another contestant who had won offered him her reward. She said he could go in her place and have the reward of food.

At first, this guy refused to take the gift offered. He said he wanted to earn it. He didn't feel right taking a free gift. Finally, he did accept the reward of food.

I couldn't help but think of the free gift Jesus offers each of us. The free gift is offered, but we have to accept it.

Maybe this guy thinks there will be strings attached to accepting this gift on Survivor.

However, there are no strings attached to the free gift Jesus offers each of us. We simply believe that what Jesus did on the cross was good enough for us.

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2

172 ~ Comfort Zone

By Kay Heitsch

I've met some interesting people in my life who have been through some situations that took them out of their comfort zones.

One guy I met told me that after he had a heart attack, he saw life in a totally different way. He said he started noticing things he had never paid attention to before.

I certainly remember how I saw life in a new way after Todd died. It seems strange how, after we are taken out of our comfort zones, we somehow have our eyes opened to what's really important.

I don't like being taken out of my comfort zone, but I've learned that even when I am, God has a way of opening my eyes to things I've never noticed before.

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2

171 ~ Sowing and Reaping

By Kay Heitsch

Yesterday, I was certainly reaping encouragement as I received so many loving reactions and comments on Todd's Heavenly Birthday. Thank you so very much.

I thought about sowing and reaping when I remembered going to one of Eli's baseball games. I guess I was sowing that day.

I was really excited watching the baseball game. It didn't matter to me who was up to bat or out in the field. I found myself yelling, "Good eye," "What a catch," "Great swing," "Wow, what a hit!" etc., etc.

As I was all into the game, a lady looked over at me and asked, "Are you with our team?" I looked over at our daughter, Shannon, and asked her, "Are we with this woman's team?" Shannon grinned and shook her head, "No."

I smiled and answered the lady, "I guess not, but you have to know me; I like to give encouragement to all of the kids."

I can see I was sowing encouragement that day, and now yesterday I was reaping encouragement.

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2

170 ~ Healing Love

 170 ~ Triumph Through Tragedy By Kay Heitsch

When your child dies, you live with a broken heart. It doesn't matter how many years go by; there is always a missing part of you.

There are days you smile when you think about your child, but there are also days a tear will roll down your cheek out of nowhere.

You may be going along, and all of a sudden, you have an overwhelming, lonely feeling you can't explain.

When your child's birthday or the day they died comes along, your broken heart is more evident. Your feelings are right on edge.

Holidays or family get-togethers can be the same way. It's at those times that the sense that something isn't right is staring you in the face.

I know I am not alone with these feelings. I'm sure other people may feel the same way. It doesn't have to be your child, but a person you were very close to.

On these hard days, I have noticed God sends people who show His love in their kind words, actions, and even a tender hug when I need it. I call this a healing balm of love.

I've been blessed to have this balm of love pour into my broken heart at different times in my life, and I am thankful for it.

Does a broken heart ever heal? I'm not sure that it does, but I know that God will send a healing balm of love to help ease the pain through kind and loving people.

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2

169 ~ The Night Before

By Kay Heitsch

At 12:04 AM, Todd would be 54 years old had he lived. I couldn't help thinking about this today. If Todd had been born 5 minutes sooner, he would have been born on my Grandma's birthday.

I remember going to the hospital in labor. We lived in Ohio at the time. I was 21 years old. I was supposed to have a semi-private room, but they were all taken. I was put in a ward with a few other mothers.

One mother there told me she had no idea she was pregnant until she came to the hospital. I had never heard of this happening to anyone before, but I have since.

This mother was single, so she had decided to give her baby up for adoption. She asked me to go down and see if I could catch a glimpse of her baby. I saw a baby in a room separate from the other babies. I figured that might be her baby, but I wasn't sure.

I watched people come in and talk to this mother. I'm sure this must have been a difficult decision to make.

We never know what will happen in life from one day to the next.

We were blessed to have Todd in our lives. I'm sure whoever adopted this mother's baby was overjoyed to have a baby of their own.

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2

168 ~ The Game Of Life

By Kay Heitsch

I heard a story about the game Monopoly. I remembered playing the game many times in my life. Sometimes it was enjoyable, and at other times, it wasn't. Very much like life! It's not always fun!

When playing Monopoly, we all gather around the table and set up the board. Someone is the banker, and they hand out the money. As the game progresses, we can buy and sell properties.

It's a great feeling to own Boardwalk, Park Place, and trade in those tiny green houses for red hotels. Since the hotels were red, you know that's what I wanted.

As the game goes on, it's fun if you're the one buying the red hotels and winning the game. However, the game eventually comes to an end, and everything is put back in the box.

How true that is in life. It doesn't matter how much stuff we accumulate. We have no idea when the game will end, and it all goes back in the box, so to speak. It may be today for all we know.

I've learned a few things over the years. I know life is not about the stuff we have and all that we have attained.

I believe life is about relationships. Our relationship with ourselves, others, and, most importantly, our relationship with God, which is made possible because of what Jesus has done for us.

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2

167 ~ Always In A Hurry

By Kay Heitsch

The heartbreak of Todd dying broke my heart, but amazingly, with the help of the LORD, it fixed my vision. After his death, I began to see life in a completely different light.

Things that had been a priority in my life now seemed insignificant. I started to notice people and take my time to help them.

In the past, I was always in a big rush. Now life took on a different meaning.

One day, as I was getting out of the car to go to a store, I noticed an elderly man using a walker. As I got to the door, I heard him say, "Always in a hurry, they're always in a hurry! No one has time to help." I stopped! I gave him a smile and said, "I have time to help."

Somehow, those words, "Always in a hurry. They're always in a hurry. No one has time to help," really got my attention.

I can and have lived my life in a constant state of hurry. I'm grateful that the Lord helped me hear and see this man's need, and I stopped to help him for a moment.

There's a Bible verse that says, "Sometimes it takes a painful experience to make us change our ways." Proverbs 20:30 GNT

Unfortunately, sometimes it does take a painful experience to make us change our ways. But with the help of the LORD, we can be better for them.

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2

166 ~ One-Day

By Kay Heitsch

I've had a few one-day experiences that have changed my life forever.

I would have to say the worst one-day experience that changed my life forever was the death of our son, Todd.

If anyone has ever gone through the death of their child, I'm sure you would say the same.

However, as horrible as this day was, it marked the beginning of many one-day experiences that would start to change my life for the better.

I don't believe for one second that my life would have changed for the better had I not had another one-day experience.

It was on this day that I gave Todd and myself over to the LORD. On this day, I asked the LORD to use Todd's death for something positive, and if it was His will to use me, I was available.

One day after another, the LORD used Todd's death and me to bring many positive things out of Todd's death.

I love this Bible verse. "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." Romans 8:28

Was Todd's death good? No, but God used his death to bring good out of it after I turned it over to Him.

One day can change your life! Even on the most horrible day of your life, God can use it to bring something positive out of it.

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2

165 ~ Telemarketer And Flannels

By Kay Heitsch

Yesterday, Brandon sent me a text asking about a flannel board, Bible figures, and scene cutouts that I have. I bought this flannel board after Todd passed away and used it to teach Sunday School to the little kids. I used some money my Dad had left me to buy them.

I bought two boards. Each is 32/48 inches. There are 2 boxes, one with 133 pieces and the other with 332. Plus the backgrounds. These pieces come in sheets that have to be cut out. It was a lot of work!

As I was digging the boards and boxes out of the closet, I noticed 11-gallon ziplock bags containing various cutouts, such as fruits, vegetables, animals, farm scenes, and images of children from around the world.

I don't recall where I met the woman I'm about to write about. I'm not sure if I ever met her in person. However, this lady was a telemarketer.

For years, when the phone rang, you didn't know who was calling, so I always answered it. I enjoyed chatting with these people. I don't see how the subject of the flannel board came up, but it did.

Out of the blue, this lady said she would like to help me buy more flannels for the board. She wanted to be a part of teaching Sunday School. She informed me that she would occasionally receive a bonus and was sending me the bonus money.

I was amazed when she did send me money, and that is where the 11-gallon ziplock bags of flannel pieces came from.

Now, these flannels and board gifts from my dad, along with this precious telemarketer, are going to teach our sweet grandchildren about Jesus and His love.

I look back, and it's incredible how God works and who He brings into our lives.

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2

164 ~ Yes, There Was A Sign

By Kay Heitsch

The year between my Dad's and Todd's deaths was not normal. I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

However, I did come up with two explanations. First, I thought my uneasiness stemmed from being raised as an only child. Now with my Mom and Dad both gone, I felt abandoned, strangely.

My second explanation for my odd feeling seemed stronger. I felt that death was in the air. I certainly didn't think one of my children would die, so I figured it must be me.

That being said, I had a strong desire to start typing tips from the books I was reading. We had a Smith Corona typewriter, so I retrieved it and started typing.

I shared these with Todd. I never told him why I was typing these out, but in the back of my mind, I figured he would share them with Shannon and Brandon when I was gone.

What has amazed me after looking at these pages of practical tips from the Bible is that I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13 at the bottom of the pages.

I do not remember typing that Bible text out.

After Todd died, I realized God was preparing me to deal with Todd's death. These tips and the Bible verse were for me!

Sharing these with Todd was helpful to him before he passed away. Todd was a happy person who saw life positively.

Remember how I led you on this long journey. Deuteronomy 8:2