53 ~ The Next Letter

By Kay Heitsch

I wasn't expecting the Peale Center to stay in touch after they published my letter In Loving Memory of Todd, but they did.

Ric, Dr. Peale's editor, and Ann, his assistant, called me every so often. They always asked what was going on in my life.

You never know what foster children may bring into your home.

When Ric called this week, I had been dealing with scabies and pink eye. I was stripping beds, washing towels and clothes, spraying Rid on the furniture and interior of the van, and rubbing cream on everyone. I also put drops in for the pink eye. To top it off, we had to make another trip to Michigan on the weekend.

Ric was a single guy. I don't think he had any idea how much work it would be to deal with all of this when he asked if I would write Dr. Peale another letter.

Ric explained this would be a follow-up letter telling Dr. Peale what had been going on since my last letter. They wanted to publish it.

I reminded Ric I was not a professional writer. Also, In Loving Memory of Todd, I wrote it so fast that I didn't even feel I was writing it. Ric ignored my excuses and said he would expect my letter on Monday.

I let Ric know if this was something the Lord wanted me to do, I'm sure it would be there. If not, it wouldn't.

I set up the card table in our bedroom with our old typewriter on it. I put a sheet of paper in.

In between cleaning, spraying, washing, applying cream, cooking, and packing, I would type a few words that came to my mind.

Much to my delight, by Friday, the letter was ready, and I sent it to Ric for Dr. Peale.

Saturday morning, everyone was cleared up, and we headed for Michigan.

Time passed, I was pretty busy, and I forgot about the letter.

52 ~ 2:00 AM Phone Call

By Kay Heitsch

When I answered the phone in the middle of the night, I was half asleep. I could hear someone sobbing on the other end of the line.

It took a few minutes for me to understand what was being said. But eventually the caller calmed down enough to talk.

Through sobs, I learned that someone at the hospital had given the caller my name. I suppose she looked up my number in the phone book.

Now this distraught mother shared why she was calling. She explained that she had been mowing the lawn with a tractor while holding her little boy. Somehow, he slipped off her lap, and she ran over him. Her precious son was dead.

Oh my God, help me! I didn't know what to say. This must be a nightmare. But I knew it wasn't.

During our conversation, I learned there was another child in the family. There was a little girl. Now I was told the day and time when this precious child's funeral would be. I knew I should attend.

Out of the blue, right before I went to the funeral, I thought I should stop by K-Mart and buy a stuffed animal. I bought a gift bag with tissue paper and put the toy inside.

When I walked into the funeral home, I spotted this little girl. I walked over and handed her the bag. Her sweet eyes lit up. It wasn't much, but I believe this little gift helped in some way.

This was a horrible tragedy, but once again, God gave me an idea of how to show His love and to also bring something good out of Todd's death.

51 - Show You Care By Being There

By Kay Heitsch

One Friday, while I was getting ready to go to Michigan for the weekend, the phone rang.

I didn't know the person who called. She explained that she had heard me give my testimony, and didn't know now she could go on if one of her children died. But now she could see there was hope.

We talked about her family. As I recall, there were 5 daughters, but only one son.

Monday morning, we were back from Michigan, and the phone rang again. It was the same mother, but she sounded different.

Much to my horror, she told me, through tears, that her only son had died in a car accident over the weekend. He was going to Florida and fell asleep driving.

I felt strongly I should go to the funeral home, but I was feeling apprehensive about it. A lot of emotions were going to be involved. I wondered how I would handle it. Finally, I decided to trust God and go to the funeral home.

I remember standing in a long line of people who knew the family who were there to show their love.

I didn't know anyone, including the mother, but somehow it didn't matter. I believed I was there to show God's love by being there.

I don't remember saying a word. I gave this grieving mother and her daughters a hug, letting them know I cared.

Words aren't crucial at these times. What's important is to show you care by being there.

Sometimes we can't be there in person. But sending a card, call, or private message will let the grieving person know you care.

Life isn't easy at times. But showing God's love and that you care is what's important.

50 - Wow!

By Kay Heitsch

I left the lounge immediately after I shared my testimony that night. I was invited for refreshments, but I declined.

It was odd, but talking about Todd, his accident, and how God was bringing good out of it seemed to be helping me.

A few weeks later, I had another call from this same ladies' group. I learned that they were in charge of a sermon once a year and asked if I would be the speaker.

I suggested that Bill sing before I talked. They agreed, even though this service was supposed to be for only women.

I had never been in this church, so I didn't know how things were done.

That morning, I found out I had to walk down the middle aisle to the platform. I surprised people how fast I could make it up front. I heard some funny remarks later.

I didn't know what to expect. The church was full. Some men were bringing out folding chairs. They even ran out of bulletins.

Somewhere in my message, I expressed how God must have a sense of humor. Here I was, a woman who wouldn't sit in a pew, and now I was in the pulpit.

A woman came up to me and said, "You put the fear of God in me." She said she never wanted to be in the pulpit, so she planned on being in the pew.

If my memory is correct, Danyelle, our foster daughter, passed out some little cards I brought while we greeted people leaving the service. The cards read, What you are is God's gift to you. "What you become is your gift to God."

Bill's solo was a big hit! After the service, several people came up to Bill asking him to join their choir!

Bill did join their choir. Later, Shannon asked Bill to join the bell choir with her. He did. This was a good bonding experience for them.

Several months passed, and I was asked to help my friend, Ruth Ann, with the youth group at this church. I had many wonderful experiences being involved with the group.

Wow, God was working to help us heal from Todd's death and to bring many good things out of it.

49 - I Can't but God Can

By Kay Heitsch

They say one of the worst fears is public speaking. Having my nose bleed at the thought of speaking in public was proof that it can be very scary.

After giving my testimony on Super Bowl night at Dee's church, I gave a big sigh of relief. Now I thought I would never be asked to go out and speak again.

Boy, was I wrong.

A few days later, I received another phone call. This time, it was a woman who asked if I would share my testimony with a group of ladies. She explained they would be meeting in the lounge at her church.

I'm not sure if I said anything at first. I'm sure I was on tilt! Then she went on to say they would be meeting on the evening of February 5th.

Are you kidding me! February 5th is the night before Todd's accident. The days surrounding your child's death are emotional. My thoughts went at high speed! There is no way I can do this!

Then it hit me. I started to see that I would always have a good excuse not to share the wonderful things God had done through Todd's death.

After thinking this through, I told this lady I would be over on February 5th.

I don't remember much about that evening, but it was the beginning of a lasting relationship with many people in that church.

When I prayed that God would bring good out of Todd's death, I was not expecting the way He would do it. I started to see that God's ways are not my ways.

I had to learn to trust God, because I was always put in positions that caused me to say,"I can't!" But He always reminds me that He can through me.

48 - I Didn't Know What To Expect

By Kay Heitsch

I had no idea what to expect or even thought about what may happen when my letter "Loving Memory of Todd" was published. Boy, I was in for a surprise.

We had a landline back then, so when the phone rang, we answered it. I started to receive calls from strangers all over who had read the letter.

On the back of the magazine, it stated that the publication reached 118 countries.

One psychiatrist called, who explained he had a patient who wouldn't talk. After reading the letter, the patient asked the doctor to call me. He wanted to know what I had found that changed my life. I told this doctor I had found a personal relationship with the Lord.

Another person who continued to call was Dee, a woman I had known for many years.

We moved a lot from state to state. Dee had worked for Bill in another one of his stores. Now she was working for him again. Dee knew what I was like before and what I was like now.

Dee kept calling me, asking me to share my testimony at her church. This went on for several months. My answer was, "No!"

I tried to get Dee to understand this was too difficult. Yes, I wrote the letter with God's help, but that was a different experience. Talking about Todd's accident and his dying was too hard. I couldn't do it! Dee persisted.

Finally, Dee stopped asking. She called and let me know that her church was expecting me to share my testimony on Super Bowl Sunday night, and Bill could join me and sing first. I freaked out!

Now the Lord and I had a talk. I let the Lord know I could not go out and talk. What if I started to cry? The Lord wasn't moved. A thought came to my mind. "You couldn't write either. I helped you then, and I'll be with you now."

The day I shared my testimony, I was a wreck. I was sweating and shaking. I started to do my hair and makeup, and blood began to pour out of my nose. As my head was in the sink, this text came to my mind. I did not give you a spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind.

This shocked me and got my attention. I stood up and told Bill that if the devil's working this hard. Something good is bound to happen.

God knew what He was doing. The people in this church were loving and kind. When I finished sharing, people walked right up front and hugged me.

God was again making something good out of Todd's death.

47 - Title To The Letter

By Kay Heitsch

Having Ric call saying Dr. Peale had read my letter was wonderful. Now, asking my permission to publish it was something I never dreamed of.

This was a personal letter. It wasn't that long, but now Ric has asked me to add more details. Yikes, I wasn't expecting that! I did my best and added the details Ric suggested.

I mentioned in my letter how I had been giving the "Have A Great Day" paperback book by Dr. Peale to friends and relatives.

I had also given the condensed edition of The Power of Positive Thinking by Dr. Peale to the cross-country and football teams, as well as Todd's graduating classmates. I'd sign each one, In Loving Memory of Todd.

I sent my revised letter with the added details back to Ric.

I don't remember how long it was, but I received a large envelope with the layout of how the letter would be published.

When I saw the title, "In Loving Memory of Todd," I was overwhelmed, and tears filled my eyes, running down my cheeks.

God was certainly making something great out of Todd's death once