51 - Show You Care By Being There

By Kay Heitsch

One Friday, while I was getting ready to go to Michigan for the weekend, the phone rang.

I didn't know the person who called. She explained that she had heard me give my testimony, and didn't know now she could go on if one of her children died. But now she could see there was hope.

We talked about her family. As I recall, there were 5 daughters, but only one son.

Monday morning, we were back from Michigan, and the phone rang again. It was the same mother, but she sounded different.

Much to my horror, she told me, through tears, that her only son had died in a car accident over the weekend. He was going to Florida and fell asleep driving.

I felt strongly I should go to the funeral home, but I was feeling apprehensive about it. A lot of emotions were going to be involved. I wondered how I would handle it. Finally, I decided to trust God and go to the funeral home.

I remember standing in a long line of people who knew the family who were there to show their love.

I didn't know anyone, including the mother, but somehow it didn't matter. I believed I was there to show God's love by being there.

I don't remember saying a word. I gave this grieving mother and her daughters a hug, letting them know I cared.

Words aren't crucial at these times. What's important is to show you care by being there.

Sometimes we can't be there in person. But sending a card, call, or private message will let the grieving person know you care.

Life isn't easy at times. But showing God's love and that you care is what's important.

50 - Wow!

By Kay Heitsch

I left the lounge immediately after I shared my testimony that night. I was invited for refreshments, but I declined.

It was odd, but talking about Todd, his accident, and how God was bringing good out of it seemed to be helping me.

A few weeks later, I had another call from this same ladies' group. I learned that they were in charge of a sermon once a year and asked if I would be the speaker.

I suggested that Bill sing before I talked. They agreed, even though this service was supposed to be for only women.

I had never been in this church, so I didn't know how things were done.

That morning, I found out I had to walk down the middle aisle to the platform. I surprised people how fast I could make it up front. I heard some funny remarks later.

I didn't know what to expect. The church was full. Some men were bringing out folding chairs. They even ran out of bulletins.

Somewhere in my message, I expressed how God must have a sense of humor. Here I was, a woman who wouldn't sit in a pew, and now I was in the pulpit.

A woman came up to me and said, "You put the fear of God in me." She said she never wanted to be in the pulpit, so she planned on being in the pew.

If my memory is correct, Danyelle, our foster daughter, passed out some little cards I brought while we greeted people leaving the service. The cards read, What you are is God's gift to you. "What you become is your gift to God."

Bill's solo was a big hit! After the service, several people came up to Bill asking him to join their choir!

Bill did join their choir. Later, Shannon asked Bill to join the bell choir with her. He did. This was a good bonding experience for them.

Several months passed, and I was asked to help my friend, Ruth Ann, with the youth group at this church. I had many wonderful experiences being involved with the group.

Wow, God was working to help us heal from Todd's death and to bring many good things out of it.

49 - I Can't but God Can

By Kay Heitsch

They say one of the worst fears is public speaking. Having my nose bleed at the thought of speaking in public was proof that it can be very scary.

After giving my testimony on Super Bowl night at Dee's church, I gave a big sigh of relief. Now I thought I would never be asked to go out and speak again.

Boy, was I wrong.

A few days later, I received another phone call. This time, it was a woman who asked if I would share my testimony with a group of ladies. She explained they would be meeting in the lounge at her church.

I'm not sure if I said anything at first. I'm sure I was on tilt! Then she went on to say they would be meeting on the evening of February 5th.

Are you kidding me! February 5th is the night before Todd's accident. The days surrounding your child's death are emotional. My thoughts went at high speed! There is no way I can do this!

Then it hit me. I started to see that I would always have a good excuse not to share the wonderful things God had done through Todd's death.

After thinking this through, I told this lady I would be over on February 5th.

I don't remember much about that evening, but it was the beginning of a lasting relationship with many people in that church.

When I prayed that God would bring good out of Todd's death, I was not expecting the way He would do it. I started to see that God's ways are not my ways.

I had to learn to trust God, because I was always put in positions that caused me to say,"I can't!" But He always reminds me that He can through me.

48 - I Didn't Know What To Expect

By Kay Heitsch

I had no idea what to expect or even thought about what may happen when my letter "Loving Memory of Todd" was published. Boy, I was in for a surprise.

We had a landline back then, so when the phone rang, we answered it. I started to receive calls from strangers all over who had read the letter.

On the back of the magazine, it stated that the publication reached 118 countries.

One psychiatrist called, who explained he had a patient who wouldn't talk. After reading the letter, the patient asked the doctor to call me. He wanted to know what I had found that changed my life. I told this doctor I had found a personal relationship with the Lord.

Another person who continued to call was Dee, a woman I had known for many years.

We moved a lot from state to state. Dee had worked for Bill in another one of his stores. Now she was working for him again. Dee knew what I was like before and what I was like now.

Dee kept calling me, asking me to share my testimony at her church. This went on for several months. My answer was, "No!"

I tried to get Dee to understand this was too difficult. Yes, I wrote the letter with God's help, but that was a different experience. Talking about Todd's accident and his dying was too hard. I couldn't do it! Dee persisted.

Finally, Dee stopped asking. She called and let me know that her church was expecting me to share my testimony on Super Bowl Sunday night, and Bill could join me and sing first. I freaked out!

Now the Lord and I had a talk. I let the Lord know I could not go out and talk. What if I started to cry? The Lord wasn't moved. A thought came to my mind. "You couldn't write either. I helped you then, and I'll be with you now."

The day I shared my testimony, I was a wreck. I was sweating and shaking. I started to do my hair and makeup, and blood began to pour out of my nose. As my head was in the sink, this text came to my mind. I did not give you a spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind.

This shocked me and got my attention. I stood up and told Bill that if the devil's working this hard. Something good is bound to happen.

God knew what He was doing. The people in this church were loving and kind. When I finished sharing, people walked right up front and hugged me.

God was again making something good out of Todd's death.

47 - Title To The Letter

By Kay Heitsch

Having Ric call saying Dr. Peale had read my letter was wonderful. Now, asking my permission to publish it was something I never dreamed of.

This was a personal letter. It wasn't that long, but now Ric has asked me to add more details. Yikes, I wasn't expecting that! I did my best and added the details Ric suggested.

I mentioned in my letter how I had been giving the "Have A Great Day" paperback book by Dr. Peale to friends and relatives.

I had also given the condensed edition of The Power of Positive Thinking by Dr. Peale to the cross-country and football teams, as well as Todd's graduating classmates. I'd sign each one, In Loving Memory of Todd.

I sent my revised letter with the added details back to Ric.

I don't remember how long it was, but I received a large envelope with the layout of how the letter would be published.

When I saw the title, "In Loving Memory of Todd," I was overwhelmed, and tears filled my eyes, running down my cheeks.

God was certainly making something great out of Todd's death once

46 - The Letter

By Kay Heitsch

After the Dover-New Philadelphia football game, I felt strongly that I should write to Dr. Norman V. Peale, whose books I had been reading.

I knew Dr. Peale was getting up in years, and his organization received hundreds of letters a day. But for some reason, this did not stop me.

I figured many people may write to The Peale Center and ask for help. I was writing to express my gratitude for the help I have received.

I sat down at my old Smith-Corona typewriter and started typing away. This letter was flowing so fast, I wasn't sure what was going on.

I shared with Dr. Peale how many amazing things God had brought out of Todd's death after I had given myself and Todd over to the Lord, as he had suggested.

I asked Mary, a friend, to look it over. She suggested a few changes, and I sent the letter with a prayer.

Can you imagine the joy I felt when I received a phone call from Ric, from The Peale Center?

Ric said Dr. Peale had read my letter and asked him to call me.

I was surprised when Ric asked if I was a professional writer. I said, "No, I'm just a mom." I also shared how this letter flowed so fast that I couldn't explain it. Ric told me he understood.

Now, the biggest surprise, Ric asked my permission to publish my letter in Plus Magazine. Wow!

45 - Todd and Sports

By Kay Heitsch

Todd was a good athlete. He started playing football in the 2nd grade. He was on a swim team in the 3rd grade. He played T-ball and baseball, and Todd played Tennis. Todd loved to snow ski too. He ran cross country and even tried wrestling.

However, football and cross-country running were his favorites.

I mentioned how Tim, a friend from Indiana, drove to Michigan for Todd's funeral earlier. Tim and Todd played football on the same team. Tim and Todd were up for "Most Valuable Player."Tim won, and Todd received the "Toughest Player" trophy. Yes, I was the crazy mom!

When we moved to Dover, Todd joined the football team. He loved it! However, his leg and growth plate were broken in practice. It was scary, so Todd decided to start running cross-country instead.

On the biggest football game of the year, the Dover football team dedicated their game to Todd. I'm proud to announce Dover won that game. It was a fantastic game.

A while after the game, a few guys from the football game came over to the house and gave us the game-winning ball.

Again, I saw God bringing good out of Todd's death.