By Kay Heitsch
Questions and Opinions When Todd Died.
When your child dies, people have opinions and questions. Here are a few that have stuck with me.
One of the first opinions someone had was that they did not think I was handling Todd's death. My response was, "You're right. I couldn't, so I turned Todd and myself over to God. He's handling it."
I've found that each death is different and personal. We all handle death and grieving in our own way. But people have opinions.
When I became a Booster, I was asked if I was trying to replace Todd with another child. My answer was, "No!" Other children can never replace the child who died.
We had booster and foster children who were from other racial backgrounds. I was asked if I was worried someone would think they were my children. It seemed like an odd question because I never gave that a thought.
In fact, having children from other races and backgrounds was a good experience for all of us. We accepted them as family.
Later in life, Brandon had people from other races wonder and ask why they felt so comfortable with him. Really, that was true for all of us.
In school, Brandon was asked to draw a picture of his family. At a conference, his teacher was confused by Brandon's picture. She said, "I thought Brandon only had one sister." I had to smile when I saw the picture. Brandon included all of his foster brothers and sisters.
Two more...Was your son driving drunk? No! Odd question for the man at the monument store to ask, I thought.
Was your son saved? I'll write about that later on.
People do have their opinions and questions when your child dies. These were a few that have stuck in my mind.
I don't know if I did and said everything right on my grief journey. Let's just say that I did the best I could at the time, with God's help.