Little did I know when I woke up in the morning that this February 6th would change my life forever. It would be the saddest day of my life.
It was a frigid day on that Saturday. I woke up early thinking about my Dad. It had been two years since his death on this same date. I remembered my Uncle Mel, who had also died on February 6th, a few years before Dad. On February 6, 1990, my Uncle Fred also passed on.
I'd remembered the year before, on February 6th. I was feeling down. I'm an only child. My Mom had died many years before. Somehow, when Dad died, I felt like an orphan. This was an odd feeling. I know it seemed strange to think like this, considering I had my own family, but I did.
I knew the hotel in the town where Dad lived was having a party in memory of him this day. I smiled, thinking about all the funny stories they would be telling. Evidently, the year before had been such a success that they were doing it again. I wanted to be happy too in memory of Dad.
When Todd came up from his bedroom, I told him, "Last year I wasn't too happy on this date. Let's make this a special day in memory of Grandpa. Why not do something that you've never done before." Todd agreed.
This year, I had been reading Dr. Norman V. Peale's books a lot and started to change my thinking, so instead of being down, I decided to think positively this day.
I asked Todd what he wanted to have to eat that night. He said he'd like baked chicken. I got the chicken out of the freezer and put it in cold water in the sink.
Todd grabbed the kitchen phone and started making calls. It was freezing. As I recall, it was 17 degrees. I was busy in the kitchen, so I overheard Todd's conversations. He was trying to find guys to go sledding with him. I can still hear him saying, "I know it's cold, but it'll be fun!" Although we were going to go skiing the next day, Todd had never gone sledding. I thought that it was a great idea to try something new in memory of Grandpa.
Todd and Brandon had a very close relationship. Brandon was only 2 1/2 at the time, but he thought he needed to go everywhere with Todd. That day was no different. Todd came upstairs, all ready to go. He had his new red ski outfit on with a red face mask in his hand. Brandon heard him about to leave and came running. "Todd, Todd!" I can still see him holding his little arms up, tears running down his face. Todd bent down, gave him a hug, and said, "Not today, Buddy; we'll go skiing tomorrow."
I was standing at the sink pouring cold water over the frozen chicken. Todd turned around and looked at me. He pointed his finger, saying, "Later, Mom!" Little did I know then how much later that would be.
About two hours passed when the phone rang. It was one of the guys Todd had gone sledding with. He told me there had been an accident. At first, I thought Jason meant a sledding accident. I had told Todd before he left not to stand up on the sled. I know how crazy boys can be. He had just had new braces put on his teeth. But somehow, I wasn't getting the message that he meant a sledding accident. I asked where they were. I thought they were going sledding in town. But now I found out they were not in town at all. Later I learned that the sun had melted the snow on Deis hill; the hill they were going to be sledding in town, so they had decided to go to the levy in Zoar.
I called Bill at work. I didn't really know much to tell him except the name of the road I was given, County Road 81. One of the girls in the office had lived on County Road 81, so Wendy knew where it was.
I didn't have a car since Bill had the van and Todd had taken the car. I called Shannon, who was across the street at Amanda's playing. I told her that Todd had been in an accident. I needed for her to come home. Judy, Amanda's mom, called. She asked me if I needed to go to the hospital. I really didn't know, but maybe they had taken Todd to the hospital if there was an accident. Judy was at work but said she would come home and take me to the hospital. As crazy as this seems, I hung up the phone and started to vacuum! Why I don't know, but I did!
Judy pulled into the driveway, and I got in the car. We drove to Union Hospital. I don't remember saying anything. Judy dropped me off at the Emergency Room door. I got out, and she went and parked the car. I walked into the Emergency Room waiting room, and I walked to the window. The girl looked up, and I said, "Hi, I'm Kay Heitsch." Silence! Several people were standing in the waiting room. When I said, "Hi, I'm Kay Heitsch," everyone looked at me. Then everyone's eyes dropped to the floor. It wasn't hard to read body language that day! I knew Todd was dead! The girl at the window didn't ask for my insurance card but instead asked if I would wait in a small office and the doctor would be in to talk with me. Judy came running in after parking the car. She looked at me, and I remember saying, "Todd's dead!" Judy asked if someone had told me that. I answered, "No, but look around!" The girl at the desk took us both to the small office to wait for the doctor.
I don't remember saying a word while we sat in the small office. I was already feeling very numb! I felt like I was in a nightmare. I heard a loud scream, and the next thing I knew, Bill was standing in the doorway. Right after that, the doctor came in. What he said I don't remember. All I know is that he confirmed what I already knew. As soon as the doctor confirmed what I already knew, Judy left.
I remember getting up and walking slowly out to the Emergency Room. I was in a hazy daze. As we were walking out, I noticed several people that I recognized standing there. They were people who worked at the hospital that had heard the news. I didn't say a word. I was silent!
We drove home in silence. I remember noticing that the sun was shining. I wondered why! When we walked in the back door, there was the half-frozen chicken still in the sink. I felt as cold as that chicken and as dead inside. I was in a daze and numb, but my mind was screaming, "I don't believe this! This can't be true!" The sad news spread like wildfire. The phone began to ring over and over because it was true! My beloved son Todd was gone!
But as we all know, that's not the end of this story! God has used Todd's death to bring hope to me as well as many others. All who knew Todd were blessed to have him in our lives for the 16 years he was with us.
A lot of people know of all the positive things that have come out of Todd's death. It's been amazing!
The first year some of Todd's friends came over, and we made cookies. On Feb. 6th, we took the cookies to the jail with a condensed edition of "The Power of Positive Thinking" in Todd's memory. I became involved in a Booster program. I made a point to pick up the children on Saturday at 2:00. On the first Saturday of February, we started to go skiing with our youth group at church. Then I began to send out "Let the SON Shine!" emails many years ago every Saturday in Todd's memory. When I got on Facebook, I started to post a positive quote or story almost every day. The Lord has helped me use Todd's death for something positive, and I am forever grateful for that.
On February 6th, I'm baking cookies and taking them along with brownies to a Memorial Service dinner for one of my best friend's son, Mitch, who passed last week. As odd as this seems, the service starts at 2:00, the exact time and day I believed Todd died.
This week as I thought back to February 6th and today, I came to this text "Everything that happens in this world happens at the time God chooses." Ecclesiastes 3:1 I don't believe anything that's happening is a coincidence. I may not understand why, but there's a reason.
Todd's words, "Later Mom," have been a comfort because I know that I will see Todd again. Seeing Todd will happen just later than I had expected.
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